“I’m Gaining Weight and It’s Freaking Me Out” — Why This Fear Fuels Binge Eating (And What to Do Instead)

Hey besties 💜

Today we’re naming something raw and real: the fear of weight gain. That spirally, panicky feeling when the scale nudges up, your jeans feel snug, or your body is changing even while you’re doing the work. If you’re thinking, “I know I’m healing… so why do I feel like I’m failing?” — this one’s for you.

DMs are always open if there’s a topic on your heart. If you’re feeling it, someone else in our community is too. We’re in this together. 💜

First: You’re Not Broken for Freaking Out

You were raised in a world that equates thinness with health, success, and worth. Of course weight changes feel scary — especially if you worked hard to lose weight through dieting, medication, surgery, or sheer white-knuckle control.

Here’s your reframe:

  • You’re not going backwards.

  • You’re not failing.

  • You’re healing — and healing is rarely linear or tidy.

When you stop micromanaging your body, it recalibrates. That might mean weight gain, weight loss, or stabilization depending on your biology, history, and nervous system. Knowing that doesn’t always stop the fear — and fear can kick off the very cycle you’re trying to escape.

How Fear of Weight Gain Triggers the Binge Cycle

Here’s the loop I see all the time (and have lived myself):

  1. You notice weight creeping up →

  2. Panic → “Be good,” skip meals, tighten the rules →

  3. Body registers restriction/stress → survival mode →

  4. Binge/overeating →

  5. Shame → promise to start over tomorrow →

  6. Repeat.

This isn’t a character flaw. It’s a biological and psychological response to restriction + fear. Your body is designed to fight deprivation.

Set Point Theory: Your Body’s “Home Base”

Let me introduce the science diet culture skips over: Set Point Theory — the idea that your body defends a natural weight range where it functions best (physically, hormonally, mentally). Think thermostat:

  • Dip too low → hunger increases, metabolism slows, cravings ramp up to bring you home.

  • Live in fight-or-flight (over-exercise, under-fuel, appetite suppressants) → the body reads “threat” and prioritizes safety and storage.

So if you’ve loosened control, started nourishing more, or stepped off the all-or-nothing treadmill, some weight gain can be recovery, not failure. Not everyone gains — some stabilize or lose — but the goal is function and freedom, not a specific number.

Truth bombs:

  • 🧠 A nourished brain binges less.

  • ⚖️ A well-fed body stops sending urgent “eat now!” signals.

  • 💜 A regulated nervous system feels safer, so urgency fades.

Personal note: after a large weight loss, I regained ~10kg. Terrifying at first. But since then I’ve maintained without dieting, tracking, or punishing workouts. I don’t binge. I don’t spiral. Peace > smallest possible body.

Gentle Mindset Shifts to Stop the Spiral

Try these when panic hits:

  • Name what’s true: “My body is recalibrating, not betraying me.”

  • De-catastrophize: Weight doesn’t trend upward forever; bodies stabilize.

  • Zoom out: Freedom, energy, mood, period health, sleep, social life — are these improving?

  • Unfollow the trigger: Curate feeds, skip weigh-ins if they dysregulate you, wear clothes that fit now.

  • Language upgrade: Swap “I’m losing control” → “I’m building trust.”

  • Grieve with compassion: It’s okay to feel tender about change. Grief ≠ failure.

What to Do Instead of Tightening the Rules

You don’t need more control. You need more safety.

Regulate + Nourish

  • Eat regularly (3 meals + snacks). Even after a binge. Especially after a binge.

  • Add, don’t subtract: protein, carbs, fats, fiber — satisfaction matters.

  • Hydrate, rest, gentle movement you enjoy.

Reduce Harmful Inputs

  • Move the scale out of sight (or out of your life).

  • Retire “goal jeans.” Wear what fits your present body with dignity.

  • Set a boundary with weigh-ins at appointments if they dysregulate you.

Tend the Real Need

  • When the urge to restrict hits, ask: What do I actually need — rest, reassurance, connection, predictability?

  • Offer that need on purpose (text a friend, step outside, 5-minute breathwork, a proper meal).

Script the Spiral (use and reuse)

  • “My body isn’t the problem; the fear is.”

  • “I don’t have to earn food. Nourishment is neutral.”

  • “I can feel this feeling and keep eating regularly.”

Read This on the Hard Days

You won’t keep gaining forever. Your body is wise. It will find its set point and hold you there while you build a life that’s bigger than food rules and mirror checks. Sometimes healing looks like a softer body and a quieter mind. Sometimes it looks like jeans a size up and a nervous system finally exhaling.

You’re not failing. You’re healing. And healing is messy before it’s peaceful.

Want Support?

This is exactly what we work on inside The Break Up — my signature program to stop binge & emotional eating, ditch diet culture, and feel safe in your body again. Inside you’ll learn to:

  • Navigate weight changes without spiralling 💥

  • End the binge–restrict cycle 🔄

  • Build emotional regulation tools that don’t involve food 🧠

  • Rebuild body trust — even while it’s changing 💜

You’ve got this, bestie. Always. 💜

Nic xx